I feel like I should clarify two entries ago, eyes.

I knew him when I was in high school. I knew him a little, but in my junior year, we were in yearbook desing class together. I thought that he was a little bit of a jerk, and when we were in class together, that belive was pretty much confirmed. He would say these little things, but would say that he was just kidding. I thought he was rude and obnoxious. It wasn't untill 3/4 of the school year was over that I realized that he liked me. I had no idea. I then developed a crush on him. I asked him to prom, just as friends, but he had to work. I think that he worked that day to have an excuse not to go to the dance because, 1) He was afraid of asking someone and being rejected, and 2) He was afraid of going with the wrong person and being seen with the wrong person, you know, someone unpopular or not well-liked. He didn't go with me. I think that he didn't go for two reasons, 1) He didn't want people to think bad about him for being with me, since I was pretty unpopular, and he was midly popular, and 2) He was hurt that I had not responded to his signals sooner, and thought that I didn't like him. It was very confusing, in the end of the year. I liked him, but he didn't like me. The entire yearbook class knew, I think even he knew. But I think he was upset/angry/mad at me because he thought I hadn't liked him earlier, and I hadn't, it took me a while to figure him out. One alternate theory is that someone found out that he had been flirting with me and they made fun of him for it. He was worried about his status on the popularity ladder and didn't want to jepordize that. Or, I think I had my walls so high, I couldn't see him over them. Probably the first one. He really cared about what people thought of him.
We were in class again in my senior year, and we didn't get along at all. He was mean to me, saying rude things that had to merit or provoction for them. I was upset, since I had thought he liked me. Everyone saw how we fought. I talked to two differnt teachers to try and get him to stop. I think he wanted to make it very clear that he didn't like me, anymore or otherwise. By the end of the year, we became amicable. We weren't the best of friends, but we could stand to be in a room together for forty minutes. I thought about telling him how I felt on graduation day, but I forgot all about that, and I'm kinda glad I didn't. It would have been weird if I did.
You know, I really cared about him.
I could have loved him.

8:33 P.M. - Thursday, Jul. 26, 2007