I had my lower left wisdom tooth removed. I am so relieved. In November of 2007, my tooth started coming in, and it hurt. It was coming in at a very extreme angle. I went to the dentist, and they recommended oral surgery to get all four out at the same time. That sounded great, but that was the month that my dad lost his job, and I lost health insurance. So that went out the window. Well, with that extreme angle came a cavity and some nerve exposure. It started at the beginning of the summer. So I was having nerve pain all along my face on the left side, and sometimes it felt like I was being suffocated slowly while my throat swelled up. I had so many sleepless nights because the pain would either wake me up or keep me up. The house is in a sad state of neglect because most days I could only feed the kids and changed their diapers, and do nothing else. I couldn't drink water; it hurt too much. I was dehydrated and miserable. And the foods I could eat were also limited. I could only chew on my right side. We have been struggling to make ends meet here for a while. So I really felt like I couldn't afford to go to the dentist. But I finally gave in and went for an emergency appointment, where they told me it would be a difficult extraction, and I should see a different dentist. Then I set up an appointment and waited. I didn't have too many problems in the week and a half except for two nights ago. I was sick with diarrhea and a stomach ache, and my tooth was hurting a lot.

Today I went in, and the first thing I did was to ask if I could be put under general anesthesia. He said he didn't even have the equipment for it. And then he said it wasn't going to be easy. He expected the tooth to come out in several pieces. They numbed me up, first topically, just on the skin, gums and tongue, and then they used the needle and numbed me the rest of the way. Then I waited while the numbing agents went to work. A couple of minutes later, the dentist came back and laid me back. I put my ear buds in and tried to calm down and listen to some music. I really don't enjoy the dentist. I get really nervous and freaked out. I had a different tooth removed November of 2009, and when they used the drill, even though I had my eyes closed, I got so dizzy and such extreme vertigo. The dentist started yanking and pulling, and he put a piece of gauze in my mouth, to catch any chips of tooth he said. He pulled it out, and said that it went very well. He even said that someone's guardian angel was helping them. That rang very true for me. The whole procedure only took about 20 minutes. It was very easy compared to what could have happened. They didn't even have to use the drill. They gave me some home care instructions, which included taking medicine at regular intervals, not eating popcorn, rice, seeds, nuts and the like, only soft foods for a day, etc.

So now I'm taking it easy while my husband naps with the kids in the bedroom. My appointment was at 8:30 AM, and the kids and I don't usually get up until closer to 11. Today's plans include going to the local mental health center to sign up for counseling. I will walk if I have to; it's not too far. I also need to go back to the dentist office to update my income information, or I'll have to pay for the procedure out-of-pocket. No thank you! We also might go grocery shopping a little more. We went yesterday, but we only got a few items to see what else we'd need and what else we'd need money for.

And oh, I almost forgot, but I went to WIC yesterday only to find out we'd missed our appointment by four days! It was supposed to be on Monday, and since my phone has no minutes, they couldn't call me with the reminder call. So I feel stupid about that. We have an appointment scheduled on the 12th, which is kind of far away, but that's what you get for misreading your appointment day.

Today is also my husband's oldest son's birthday. He'll probably call and say happy birthday and that's about it. We can't afford to buy him anything, and I don't even know what he'd want.

Tomorrow is a birthday party for a baby who's parents are friends with us. This woman told us that she'd be willing to let me get a full-time job, so she could watch our kids "for cheep." What the fuck? She wants me to leave my kids with her all day, just so she can make some extra money and have something more to do, it seems like. I told her no. As polite as I could have said it. It makes absolutly no sense for me to pay her to do what I can do for free. And I don't want to work full time out of the house! And she wasn't even offering free services, what the fuck! I just can't get over it. The way my husband and this woman's brother-in-law, whom we're also friends with, made it sound, I didn't really have a choice in the matter. Like I was going to get a job, she would watch the kids, and that was the end of the discussion. Um, no, it's not! I'm pretty much livid about this whole subject, and if she brings it up tomorrow, I'll tell her the same thing I already told her through email: Thanks for the offer, but when I did work even only part-time, I missed the kids terribly, and right now it's hard to make ends meet, so it's just easier if I watch them. That way, I hope, she understands that there's no way I'm going to pay her for something I can do by myself for free. Not gonna happen.

12:38 P.M. - 09.30.11