I think I've been crying too much lately. I'm sitting here in my lazy boy with Owen next to me, and I laughed at something a little, and he asked if I was okay. I think he thought I was crying. I have been crying a lot this week. I started my period on Saturday, but that's really no excuse, either. I hate it when women use "that time of the month" excuse for being a bitch. I know a woman like that, and I can barely stand her. You know, he used to comfort me when I cried. Now he's usually the cause of it. He practically yells at me for "whining and crying" and apparently he doesn't like it. He doesn't ever apologize. I don't know what to do anymore. He's almost never affectionate, he doesn't even kiss me when we have sex. He just goes right for it. He's always asking me to rub or scratch his back, he never does that for me. He almost never hugs me, when he passes me, he tries not to touch me. It's all about him. I'm so frustrated I don't know what to do. I have no energy. The house is getting bad again. Plus he does almost nothing around here, he barely takes out the trash.

We've done nothing for Christmas, he hasn't even given me the box yet, because it's buried and I don't know where it is, only he does. We still need to put up the tree, send cards and buy and wrap gifts, not to mention finish cleaning the house for our Christmas dinner and when my parents come over and everything. Lots to do.

2:22 P.M. - 12.06.11