Yesterday we went to that tattoo place to talk to the piercer, and he said I had two options. I could take it out, and let it heal. After the babies, or preferably all my children, they can use a special tool to find the original hole and see if it's still straight and then open it again. Or I could leave in a ring, and hope for the best. He says my skin is stretching and moving and it can't with the jewelry in there. They have this really very flexible belly button ring that's essentially a small solid plastic tube with two screw on balls one on either end. He says even with that there will be some discomfort. Plus, with my skin stretching and everything, it could move the hole and make it crooked and do I want to have the pain and discomfort and then have it turn out crocked? No, not really. So right now it's out. It was hurting yesterday evening. As soon as I took it out, I put some ointment on it and a bandaid. It's so weird to look down and not see it. Now, my belly button is almost a complete outie. We laughed at this because it looks as if the jewelry was hold it back partly. I've never really been able to see so much of my belly button before!

I don't really talk about this much here, I don't know why, it just doesn't come out, but Chuck and I haven't been intimate as much as I would like. We don't really kiss very much anymore. I feel like this pregnancy has robbed us a little of being a regular horny couple. Part of this is my fault, because when we try, it hurts and I think I have a yeast infection. We cuddle and talk a lot at night, but i wish I could be with him more. I want to make him happy and it makes me happy too. I'm getting teary-eyed just writing this. I don't know why. I feel bad when we can't be together. When we were staying in the hotel room, we were together and afterward it hurt so bad I almost cried and I couldn't sit down. I need the doctor to check me out again.

Last night Chuck lay with his head on my belly for a bit and it was really nice. He said he really was excited the first time he felt them kick and he wishes he could feel again. I've been paying attention to it, and they mostly kick when I'm sitting down after just eating. During the day. When Chuck is at work. So he misses out on the most active times. He says he's jealous that I get to feel it. I'm not jealous of all the weird miscellaneous pains I have!

I've been thinking about going home for a week to spend some time with my family. I really miss them, I haven't seen them since they came up here a few weeks ago. I want to go home and have my favorite foods and play games and see all the kids at the daycare. Chuck doesn't know I've been thinking about this, I just decided today. I miss being home and seeing my family. I really took that for granted when I lived with them. I know Chuck won't really take it well that I want to go home for a week because that means not seeing him for a week. Plus, I want my mom to see my giant belly because it's really been getting bigger, I remember how it looked when I went shopping, and it looks way bigger now. Plus, I'm trying to convince my mom to move to Sioux City so she can be with the babies and me more often. I think she's getting tired of hearing about it though, because she got kinda mad the last time I brought it up. She says that my sister said she wanted to finish school at the school there, so that's why they're staying there. I think I can convince her once the babies come. Gas is getting expensive, and I know that she won't be able to come every week, and anything less than that is depriving my children and her time time together.

10:51 A.M. - Thursday, May. 01, 2008