It's been a while since I last added an entry. Here's why: I don't know what I'm feeling. I figured out why I don't know. I don't want to have to dig up everything that's happend to me and have to face how bad it really was. I don't have a therapist appointment today, Chris won't be there, so I have some time to recuperate from the last one. I almost dread going to see him because I know we'll have to dig in my life, and he always makes me hold the shovel, and I don't want to dig, but he's forcing me. That's a really bad run-on sentence, but you get it.

I've been keeping busy with cleaning and mock trial and school work. My room is clean, we moved the desk in there too. One month and some days until regionals. I'm doing okay in my classes.

Kolander handed out our schedule sheets. We have to decide what classes we're going to take next year as SENIORS. That's the year that colleges look at and say, "You were busy, weren't you?" or "You didn't take very many classes, huh?" It practically determines your future. I am really freaking out about this. I know, I already got my senior schudle worked out with Kolander, but still, is it what I want? How do I know what I want? How do I know that I won't regret this choice the moment I made it? I don't. I just don't.

11:27 A.M. - Monday, Feb. 06, 2006