Hey, I started this diary because I wanted to get away from my old one and because I still want to express myself.
Here's a discription of me:
I'm 16, live in practically the middle of nowhere. This town has about 2,000 people, half are over 50. I'm bi, and just because I am doesn't mean I have a crush on every single girl out there, just like I don't have a crush on every guy. That's a common misconception that I come across and a big reason why I don't tell a lot of people. I live in the 'Bible belt' and I'm a pegan, so that doesn't help matters either. I've got no friends, just people who sit with me because they don't want to see me sit alone. I'm having a really rough time right now, I ended an abusive relationship with this guy, Fletcher, about 6 months ago and I'm still having issues with that. Plus I make a lot of stupid mistakes. The most recent are: Getting arrested. I got arrested at the end of the school year my sophomore year. That means that I spent my entire summer (and some of the next school year) on probation. I got off lucky, 20 hours community service at the air-conditioned library and a slap on the wrist, expect for that fact that I didn't even do anything wrong. I flagged down this car and asked the guy inside it for a light. Yeah. Stupid thing to get arrested over. I'm off probation now. The second: having sex with a friend, Nick Kirsch, who I also mistakenly dated for a week after I broke up with Fletcher. His dick is so small, if you hold up your index finger and use your other hand to measure it between your other index finger and you thumb, that's BIGGER than his dick. His dick was about 3 inches long. Flecther was 7, so he at least had that. But I felt like such a whore when I had sex with Kirsch, and that's because it was a miskate. I also just ended a toxic friendship. This term may be new to some of you, so I will explain it. This means that this girl, Chola, real bitch, has been pracitcally poisioning my mind with her persuavsive words and actions. She used to put me down, then say "Just kidding!" but I knew she wasn't, then she would turn around and say something like "You're the only one who understands me." I'm glad I'm not friends with her anymore, but sometimes I wish I could talk to her. She made up a lot of bad shit the 'happend to her' but never happend, like talking about people who don't exist, memories you don't have. I called her bluff a bit and she left me alone for a while. Now she's trying to be friends with me again to find out how much I know and to see if that won't shut me up. Anyway, I have a little sister and she's 11. Annoying as fuck, she's also very creepy. I have several stories of her saying something and refering to herself as 'we' or 'us' like Gollem/Smeagol if you've ever seen the LOTR movies. I have a mother and a father, and nethier want to hear about my problems. Every time I try to talk to my mother, she rolls her eyes at me like what I have to say isn't important or that it doesn't matter.

I have a lot of problems. I need therapy.

5:28 P.M. - November 04, 2005